My Sweet Audrina by V.C. AndrewsMy rating: 3 of 5 stars
Cover: 4/5 - I love this old school cover. Similar to the one I had as a kid.
Story: 3 maybe 3.5 out of 5 stars (I liked it) I can't say I really liked it, but it was definitely more than "meh" for me. So much to say...
Here is another example of shit I can't believe I read as a young kid. This book is f*cked up. Since I've already read this multiple times I remembered the big twist at the end. Since it's been years since I read it, I vaguely remembered other details. But Peter from Peter Likes Books started doing a readalong and I was super excited to read some Andrews again.
It was hard for me to get into. There seemed to be too much time spent talking about her childhood in the beginning. We get it. She doesn't remember a lot of things. Her father is super creepy and even her mom and aunt seemed weird to me. Vera is a bitch and I didn't like her. The plot was interesting and twisty and I remember when I first read it, I was blown away by the twist at the end. There was also a hint of something paranormal to me. The father keeps referring to her being filled with the gifts of the first Audrina and her response to that is to pick some stocks for him. Also she seems to have some visions...? I don't know. That part was barely there. It was well-written for the most part and I think it's a good horror/suspense story once they get past the slow childhood of Audrina.
So now let's get into my spoilery thoughts:
The dad was a freaking creepy psycho. I was never sure what was going on with him. He had some weird pedophile vibes, but that never happened. I've read V.C. Andrews before so it is entirely possible that it could have gone that way. But he's a selfish person in many ways. I did look at Audrina's parents in a new light for this reading. I don't remember finding any feelings for them other than "what a bunch of assholes" when I was a kid. As a parent now, I can kind of sympathize with them. She wanted to destroy herself. She was in so much pain and in an effort to help her, her parents decided to lie to her and pretend that it happened to someone else. I can sympathize with that, but I would never even think of doing that myself as a parent. What the mom did to Audrina after being raped (the bath) was so reminiscent of the Dollanganger series... Andrews really likes these horrible bath scenes. Anyway, the parents are fucked up, but I can kind of see why they went they way they did having children myself.
Now on to the biggest change of feeling towards a character... Arden Lowe. I fucking hated him by the end of this book. He is such a giant douche. He is infatuated with her all because he ran away as a child while she was raped. His way of dealing with his guilt was to try to ensure she had the happiest life ever. What a crock. He gets her to marry him and they all move into the Whitefern estate, including his mom Billie, which is just so creepy. Billie, who I liked up to this point, suddenly become brainless about Audrina's father all because he paid attention to her and found her attractive. All that stuff that Audrina had told to her in confidence about the mistreatment she completely blows off with "I'm sure you were mistaken about his treatment of you." Yikes. Anyway, back to Arden. He is supposedly her friend all these years. The kind of friend who lies to you on a continual basis. He goes away to college and makes her promise to "wait" for him, while he himself sleeps with several girls, including Vera. She marries him and on their wedding night, he basically forces himself on her. The next morning he claims she "eagerly surrendered" and they both know it's a lie. All it reminded her of was being raped. That's real fucking romantic. The worst part is that he knows she was raped! He knows and still treats her that way!!! What a complete ass.
So fast foward (I'm trying to keep this short and I'm failing). He's cheating on her with Vera. He tells her it's her fault because she's unresponsive to his sex. Here's a hint... try something new... like not forcing yourself on her maybe. So it's her fault cause he's a man and he has desires. He tells her he's going to leave her. She freaks out, they decide to have sex in the garden, and then he tells her he only said that to "shake her up"... he's always loved her, will always love her. Even is she never lets him touch her again. Bullshit. He'll just cheat on you though. Cause he's a man. And apparently in this world that's okay. So they have a big make up sex session, she gets pushed down the stairs, finds herself in a coma. It's been 3 weeks. AND HE'S ALREADY HAVING SEX WITH VERA AGAIN. 3 weeks! And talking about putting her down. WTF. He is the worst. Then she comes out of her coma, finds out the truth about herself, runs to her sister's fake grave in anguish, and Arden follows her and slaps her around a little. She does get her own blows in as well, but he pins her down and then proceeds to force himself on her in the rain... as she's reliving the rape... What a fucking stand up guy. Then she feels herself starting to respond and I am just shaking my head in disappointment. She's a dumbass and he's just horrible.
I got really excited at the end when she was basically saying fuck you Dad... fuck you Arden... I'm getting out of here.
"I breathed deeply and suddenly felt very happy. Free, at last, free."Then she gets in the car, looks up at her sister in the window, gets a headache and decides to stay. Damn. So close. But the worst part is she just walks right back into Arden's arms, looks deeply into his eyes (cause that cures everything), and went on with her day.
"Like Papa's love for me, I'd just done the most noble deed of my life. I was the First and the Best Audrina who had always put love and loyalty first. There was no place for me to run. Shrugging, feeling sad, yet cleaner than I had since that rainy day in the woods, I felt a certain kind of accepting peace as Arden put his arm around my shoulders. Automatically my arm encircled his waist..."There's the actual big shocking ending. This guy starts a relationship with her that is based on lies and deceit. Continues to lie to her, marry her, force himself on her repeatedly when she obviously isn't having a good time, cheats on her repeatedly with a half sister she literally hates... in her own home... IN FRONT OF HER, and she's like hey.. I guess I'm just really loyal and that's my thing so I'm staying. Ugh.
I cringe when I think of young impressionable me reading this book and, consciously or unconsciously, believing that this is some kind of healthy and/or romantic relationship. As an adult, I read it and know it's not healthy. And I don't think that Andrews wrote it to be construed as a good relationship. But as a kid, I wasn't thinking about that kind of stuff. I just read what was in front of me. I know that I didn't hate Arden. In fact, I probably liked him to some degree. But children (and I was a child... probably about 11) have no business reading V.C. Andrews.
Moral of the Story: If you're a parent... PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE READING.
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